alifulhu messages me while i’m visiting samfa’s family after hukuru.

‘do you guys want to come to dinner at ours?’ says the text. ‘we’re making biryani.’

i ask samfa if she’s up for it.

‘but i’ve reached my calorie limit for the day,’ she complains.

‘ah, come. i think there’ll be an important announcement,’ i say.

‘important announcement? is faathaanike pregnant?’

i don’t respond but she looks at my face curiously.

‘my god, she IS pregnant isn’t she?’

i don’t say anything.

‘when did you know?’

‘i figured it out a few months ago,’ i blurt out. ‘it was at an event and faathaanike was glowing. i was the first to put two and two together, she said. i don’t think they’ve told anyone yet. but tonight is the night.’

‘what did you tell her?’

‘i asked her if she was pregnant, and she looked at me very funny and said ‘how did you know?’

‘how did you?’

‘oh i don’t know, just a feeling.’

‘faathaanike must be huge now. good god.’

i have to meet someone in male so i leave before samfa, saying bye to zubaida and zuhuraa.

—

samfa and i are getting ready to go to hulhumale. i’m wearing some nice pants and a nicer pair of trousers (:D) and samfa is wearing one of my old shirts.

‘come on,’ she says. ‘the cab is here.’

‘can you pretend you don’t know?’ i ask samfa after settling into the car seat. ‘or they might be upset.’

‘fine, i will,’ she says. ‘now are they going to have a babyshower? i can’t spare much money because i have that thing.’

yes, i know what that thing is. samfa might be going on a journey of the soul because she’s turning forty.

anyway, alifulhu opens the door and i see a glowing faathaanike seated on the sofa.

‘how are you both?’ i say giving them hugs. faathaanike looks exactly the same, no noticeable bulge but her face looks pretty glowy in a pregnant way, i think. and i tell her as much. she looks at me a bit strangely, like she’s suppressing a laugh but also embarrassment. what’s happened? did they lose the baby?

‘so, what’s the occasion?’ asks samfa.

‘oh, we just thought we’d have you guys around for dinner, nothing much’

‘come on, you can tell her,’ i tell alifulhu and i draw the same look from him too. hmm. maybe there’s been a miscarriage. so i decide not to push it any further. their cat gremlin leaps off from her perch on the chair and comes to sniff my toes. i give her a scratch on the back of the head.

‘who’s a tubby little lady,’ i say.

‘i’m trying to watch my weight, i keep telling you,’ says samfa.

‘i was talking to the cat,’ i say.

‘ah, ok.’

‘dinner is ready,’ says alifulhu. ‘so, whenever you feel hungry.’

‘i’m hungry right now,’ i tell him.

‘come on then,’ he says, still looking at me strangely with a sheepish half smile.

the biryani is ready in a pot on the electric stove. alifulhu and faathaanike have done a spectacular job with the kitchen, it’s beautifully kitted out, and though cosy there’s ample space by the table. enough for a party of six.

i inspect the food. it’s not a layered biriyani like the OG sort but more a dhivehi variant. everything is mixed together with caramelised onions and cashews and nice chunks of meat.

‘who made it?’ i ask them.

‘i cooked the rice and since biryani is mostly rice…’ alifulhu trails off and faathaanike slaps his arm.

‘it smells so good alifulhu,’ says samfa. ‘i have used up all my calories for today though, but i don’t think i can leave without tasting this.’

‘it’s friday, samfa,’ says faathaanike. ‘you shouldn’t be too hard on yourself. give the calorie watch a break.’

‘fine,’ says samfa and we pile our plates with rice and take our seats.

‘it’s so good,’ i say. i look at alifulhu and faathaanike, who see me looking at them and then look a bit strange again.

‘guys, is everything OK?‘ i ask.

‘of course,’ says alifulhu.

‘ah, good, it’s still on then?’

again the weird look from both faathaanike and alifulhu.

‘can someone tell me what’s going on?’ asks samfa.

‘you tell her,’ i say.

they both start to laugh.

‘what’s going on, what’s so funny?’ i ask.

‘OK, you know when you met us at that event, and asked faathaanike if she was pregnant?’

‘yes, that was almost four months back,’ i say.

‘she was actually just pulling your leg,’ says alifulhu grinning like he was part of something that had soured.

‘no WAY!’

and everyone starts to laugh. including samfa.

‘husenfulhu looked so excited to have figured it out,’ says faathaanike to samfa. ‘i thought i’d just play along.’

‘i don’t believe it,’ i say. ‘i refuse to believe this.’

‘samfa, i was out smoking on the balcony with husenfulhu a few weeks ago,’ says faathaanike over peals of laughter. ‘and husenfulhu was like, should you be doing that? and i said, it’s OK during the first semester.’

‘haha semester,’ laughs samfa.

everyone has a great laugh at my expense. these are my friends, what can i say. i am a clown to them, a troglodyte with a facility for words, simple words at that in comparison to saththaaru or even ahanma. i am an abject figure of ridicule.

‘we’re so sorry husenfulhu, we should’ve ended it earlier,’ says alifulhu as a tear of shame trickles down my cheek to the pointy bristles of my beard, threatening to drop on my magnificent biriyani.

‘are you OK husen?’ asks samfa. i nod, and observe the tines of my fork. they have skewered the white flesh of the chicken, ripping it into strands that rest against the cold metal.