honest, humble, and down-to-earth critic – bringing you the best and worst of food in the maldives.
by saththaaru
I sit with husenfulhu and his buddy, pal, homie Yaugoob who has a degree in… But as you all know being physicist in Male is like being eunuch in a harem: you can see where the fun is at, but there’s nothing you can do about it.
Yaugoob takes a gulha from the plate and holds up it for examination. Husenfulhu starts salivating with expectation, I brace for impact.
“Why are there no square planets?” yagoob says, to himself perhaps, but we know better.
“All heavenly bodies are orbs or spheres like this gulha. Water drops tend to form spheres. Not prisms like a bajiyaa. All spheres”
“Of course you have the odd ones in the heavens too, the quasars, the pulsars – schitzos, freaks, but its mostly orbs”
“Universe loves frugality. Minimalism. You see a sphere has the lowest surface area to volume ratio: meaning you can cover up the most with very little. Thats what the earth is for, to cover up the magma so we can take a walk. Maldivians have stumbled upon this very economical shape in this gulha. You need little flour to cover up huge amounts of mas huni. But what do these fuckers in restaurants do, not satisfied with having the perfect hedhikaa form-”
Yagoob split the gulha open to reveal a thick crust and goes apeshit
“they swindle us of the stuffing as well. How would you like if you split the earth open, and theres nothing there? Would you be happy?! What if the Sun is just for show?”
A waiter in white shirt and rumpled pants approaches, smiling affably but with due respect, and nods towards Yaugoob and asks into the wind “Nut, sir?”