it’s 4pm on a friday and man, i am absolutely mad with hunger.

i woke up a couple of hours back, like any good dhivehi man, and lay in bed trying to figure out what i wanted to eat and where. because you see, my mother now lives all the way in phase two and i can’t just pop in on a friday afternoon to get free grub.

anyhow, it was already 3pm when i was done eliminating cuisines and individual dishes from my list. it was now clear that i wanted dhivehi keun. so i did as someone might – i settled for a maldivian rice bowl from rodchenko. it’s the perfect sub for those who’ve missed the lunch buffet at moon cafe and still crave something dhivehi.

to my dismay, i found out rodchenko did not open for an hour. so, i watched some russian propaganda clips on tiktok. putin. such an eloquent man. so knowledgeable, especially on his great adversary. i doubt biden knows or cares as much about russia.

and now, at 4pm i call rodchenko and place my order. it will take forty minutes, they tell me. fine, i say. maybe i can watch putin speak for another half hour.

the more i listen to putin, the more i am drawn to him. his charisma is apparent even on the phone’s small screen. i listen to him criticise the west with great composure. of course, i don’t agree with him on most points but he sounds incredibly persuasive. he sounds like someone you could get behind.

finally, the time has come to head out to rodchenko so off i go. it is drizzling and so goddamned humid it almost seems like the air is giving me a big wet hug.

rodchenko is quiet. dead quiet. i race upstairs and the place is empty but for me and a server who hurries to the kitchen. i take a seat in the booth, my back against a plump cushion. the dish is soon in front of me. it’s an old favourite of mine, the maldivian bowl.

let me describe it briefly. there’s rice half drowned in masfen, topped off with caramelised onions and sides of thelli faiy, sweet potato, and crowned with a dollop of rihaakuru. it’s savoury, slightly sour, the coconut milk in the masfen adding some welcome sweetness while the chili turns on the heat. by all means, a decent substitute for moon cafe.

i watch the rain patter on the large windows, thinking now of the prospects of nuclear war. the pro putin tiktok channel asserts the scientists involved the manhattan project revealed atomic secrets to the soviet union. why? putin says it’s because these smart men understood that a single nuclear nation was far too dangerous and another opposing nuclear power was needed to restore balance.

i finish my lunch and pay 115MVR at the counter. it costs 20MVR more now but still not too steep for a good dhivehi meal at this cafe with a russian’s name. balance – i check mine on the phone. all is well.