it’s not easy being a food critic, especially in a city that’s brimming over with the loud and the opinionated. something must be done to stand out.

so, i stand out on the balcony texting haseena about dinner.

‘have u tried that new sushi place?’ she says.

‘what’s it called?’ i ask.

‘sushi zu’ she replies.

‘do i need a reservation?’

‘they’re on insta, txt them.’

‘don’t they have a phone number?’ i ask.

‘it’s their soft opening,’ she says.

soft opening. gross.

so, the next evening, i almost walk into sushi zu’s kitchen from salt’s sixth floor. but they are pretty nice about it and usher me through salt (the restaurant) and behind big latticed wooden doors to my seat in a glamorous interior awash in warm light. the decor itself must have set them back by a million. it’s good to know people are serious about food.

‘what qualifies you to write about japanese food anyway?’ asks hasanfulhu when i send him photos.

‘i’ve had japanese at nihonbashi,’ i tell him.

‘isn’t that at crossroads?’

‘it’s owned by a japanese guy.’ my pulse begins to race.

‘isn’t his mother sri lankan?’

yeah, you can really tell he’s one of those inquiring minds.

‘look pal, i have a degree from MIT, ok?’ i snarl.

‘isn’t that the maldives institute of tech -’

i cut him off as my food arrives along with my drink and a bowl of miso.

the mango margarita is good enough to order seconds, which i do.

as for the sashimi, it’s impossible not to fall hard for the FRESH tuna, and the bbq’d eel dissolves like delicious fat in my mouth.

the sushi too is decent but i expect some sour sweetness from the rice because, in the light of my considerable experience, that’s how it’s done.

it must also be said the miso doesn’t disappoint. yet what blows everything else out of the water is the seemingly modest mango coconut dessert ‘chawanmushi’. it is just mesMERIC, the play of textures, the delicious pops of passionfruit, the crunch of the crumble – i’m utterly in its sway.

‘AAAH!’ says haseena when i send her pics later. ‘how was it?’

‘well,’ i say. ‘i guess oishii is still the second-best sushi place around.’